THE YEAR THAT WAS ( PART 1)

'13 was a big year . No matter what you do, who you are. Many events took place this year, some good, many bad. And in true filmy ishtyle, I now declare the commencement of the 

                              1st Annual Thullu Awards ceremony!!!

P.s. Its the word of the year for us. Selfie can burn with envy.

 

 This is a very prestigious and sought after award and is decided by a panel of two (me and my alter ego). So without further ado, I will now introduce two well known actors who are paid a obscene amount to be senseless, repetitive and crack mind numbingly boring jokes to host this gala. The categories and awardees are as follows :-

1. SPORTS 

Millions of people leave productive work to form a religion for a game that is played in only 13 countries and they do it aggressively. Only one man had the potential to make all of them cry . The one , the only

                                   ISHANT SHARMA 

He was a true game changer and turned the tables completely (albeit against us) and a huge array of memes flooded the internet chronicling the very same .

2. HISTORY

The man is on a spree of winning hearts  right now and is revved up for the elections next year. The man may be great, eminent, and very impressive but his gaffes are but a little bump in his routing of the existing government. The awardee is the man whose name is now in chants 

                                 Mr. NARENDRA MODI.

The man overall is undisputably great and i particularly like him for his caustic sense of humour, but that being said, a small lesson in history might go a long way .

3.COMMON SENSE

Okay this one has a clear winner. By miles i should add. Anybody with a double digit IQ and a brain in his skull could laugh this one off. But the people in question, did not! The award goes to

                          SHOBHAN SARKAR & ASI  

The man made a prediction that a 1000 tonnes of gold would be found at a random place near a fort. And the ASI promptly started digging !Obviously, nothing was found and the ASI was left red faced.

P.s. Sarkar had the gall to come forward again and say that this time 2500 tonnes of gold would be found. Thankfully, he was shooed away.

4. ENTERTAINMENT

The desi form of Big Brother returned again, with more masala, more tantrums and still totally fake ( And they call it reality TV -_- ). The winner here is 

                                           BIG BOSS!!

Scripted fights, flaring tempers, a constant flow of abuse, and some not so private PDA attention made this particular show the winner ahead of the mundane orthodox repelling shows ( cue garish over the top costumes, glycerin rivers and high pitched squeaky actresses caked in makeup ). 

 

5. LAW

THis was a tough one i admit, due to there being a lot of big verdicts being executed this year. But our awardee, a superstar in his own right, made jail seem like a picnic or a place for fun and frolic. Bhidu, apna winner bole toh

                                         SANJAY DUTT

He was sentenced to jail, yet he managed to juggle both jail and family ! With a arsenal of cooked up reasons, he was able to get paroled for about a month . Well, maximum points being a good family man !

6.HUMAN RIGHTS

This one was sincerely a big blotch on our developing image and truthfully it was the only contender in this category. The winner here,

                                         SC OF INDIA

Yes , it is appalling but yet its true. The SC criminalised LGBT relationships, disheartening not only the community but also activists and rationalists. A big blow to the right to freedom, and to progress.

These are just some of the categories that i could decide on. Tons more are present and as of now, unexplored . So, if you have something in mind, Ill be glad to hear about them and incorporate them . As always, critique and reviews are welcome .

 

The Nailed Closet

Future scene ...
Cops on patrol .
Guy hugs a guy amicably .
"Saale gay,jail mein daalo ."

Girl hugs a girl .
Cops(after a long awkward gap with their mouths agape) " Bhartiya sanskriti ka vinaash ! Jail me daalo !!"

Guy hugs a girl.
" Rape aise  chalu hota hai . Beat that bastard !!" ...

                        Well, at least transgendered will be relatively safe. Yay more power to them. If you are a resident of this glorious resplendent endearing nation which is totally just and fair and you don't live under a rock, you should know this piece of news. If you don't know or you believed the previous declaration, I'd suggest a newspaper and a sarcasm 101 course.
                      I'm talking about the repealing of the judgement that Delhi HC passed regarding section 377 ( the LGBT issue ) . Now, everybody expected the SC to support the decriminalisation of Gay relationships. But I guess the CJI decided to go out with a bang. He repealed the act, making it criminal to be a LGBT member. Ouch !That was like a final nail to the coffin (closet in this case.) That actually sucks more than you or I can imagine.
            My point of view on it. The only thing unnatural,abnormal here isn't being a LGBT ,it's the decision taken by the Supreme Court. Now , it's called supreme for a reason. Only legislature can effectively veto the decision ( So basically, it'll never get done ) . The judges of the SC are highly educated,dignified. For them to take such a orthodox and biased decision is quite disheartening. We say we have the right to freedom so why not enforce it? Quite frankly, a persons lifestyle choice is of no matter and no consequence to society.
                    The world is moving forward. Heck even Indians are now accepting love marriages!!! ( And believe me that is humongous ). And even so, ridiculous opinions are being voiced. A post by some person read "If gayness is allowed , jawans  posted on borders will start having sex with each other ". ( I shit you not, it read like this ). I mean , WHAT the bloody hell !! I didn't know being a jawan had a perk of lolling around and getting laid. And so what, if that does happen ? What goes on behind closed doors is hardly a public matter. It's not as if the LGBT community, isn't human ! In fact, the challenges, criticism they face actually make them more human than most people . They just have different inclinations than most people . And just because they do not conform to the general norm of mundane , they are being crucified. Why they are being made into scapegoats is a big enigma. Their inclinations are being hyped out of control when the matter is actually quite trivial. People ought to know not to poke their noses in others business. But gossip is a measure of power . The more shit you know, the more shit you can cause.
                         This post could very well be an essay if I vent everything, but it still will not make a difference until sense is hammered into people. I have absolutely no more words to express my angst . But I will enunciate that I am deeply grieved by this insensitive and regressive decision taken in a court of law . And people seriously, be human. Be compassionate. And force the hand of the government to erase this discriminating abomination !!

P.s. Pointers on how to interact with LGBT people
1. Approach them .
2. Cut out  the homophobic crass b.s.
3. Talk .

Keep it real folks .

A Take On Change

                                                                            It is done. The taxpayers , tired of the regressive way in which the country was being projected to the world and repelled by the vile untoward incidents towards women , lashed out , demanding change . And they got it with much jubilation , fervour and news footage . After a decade of the Congress ruling the country with a iron fist ( or appropriately a palm ) heralding that they are for and by the people, all their fallacies are out in the open, documented and duly concurred by the events taking place in that timeline .
                                                                       Now, it's time for change. And change, there will be . If the polling results are any indication of the future, then the routing Congress got will continue only intensify next year. There will be change, followed by a uphill and extremely daunting task for the party that conquers the PMO . Major reforms will have to be rolled out , schemes implemented and projects fast tracked.
                                     Though this may seem like a pivotal point, in my view, it's a small step albeit in the right direction. The true goal, I believe is best explained by John Lennon's ideology in his song Imagine . His idea of a free world is a true utopia.  All said and done , who are politicians ? Mere mortal humans , like 7 billion others. They are in no way special , neither are they enlightened and highly educated (especially in our country ). Then why , I ask , should they be given the power to make decisions for a whole country?
                                   I dream, of a country without any need of governance. I dream of a world, a big panacea where people are not divided by country, race, beliefs, money. I dream of a true world without borders where people can move about freely. I dream of a world without hunger, crime, greed  or nepotism where all people are given equal opportunities to be all that they can and want to be. That  will truly capture the essence of us humans and that will be the time when we will have fully understood the reason of our higher intelligence. When responsibilities and duties, become part of our behavioural quirks and when we no longer require hard wrought rules to exist, will be the true rise of freedom .
                    But, as a rationalist, I realise that dream may never be achieved.  So I toast this welcome little change, a mere blip for now, and I hope this transcends into a dazzling guide beacon .