Now , from the title mentioned above, some may think i am about to talk about something big,bad,taboo. What you may be inclined to think involves either snorting,puffing,inhaling or ingesting a hallucinogen or it involves a trifecta which may aptly describe today's pro UPA youth population (Everybody reading this theoretically should have suffered from the " SHIT nahi , BULLSHIT " types ads featuring the UPA scion ). But what i am about to talk about is much worse than what you have in mind. The sheer trashiness of it is so chimerical yet so widespread that a realistic and aware person like me will have to get high on the aforementioned drug in order to merely survive the torture of being subjected to it.
Today, my friends, is my final frontier. This is the true meaning of a David vs Goliath scenario for me . * cue lightning sounds a la Mahabharat on Doordarshan in the 1990's *
Today, I take on television and all its Dramacoms (Id call them sitcoms or programmes but that would be a insult to some real sitcoms like Sarabhai vs Sarabhai ) . In essence, that means I am taking on Ekta Kapoor and all her creative glory that renders the occasional pathetic plot twist to an otherwise drab, almost comatose script.
Now, I dont hate TV. But i tend to watch something that keeps my brain cells intact. As a form of entertainment, i believe TV has maxed out its potential. Movies are regularly shown on TV, music is too though now music may as well be a mixture of softcore pornography and full blown public advertisemnets for alcohol and substance abuse . Oops i forgot to mix in the tutorial on how to perfectly objectify a woman and in the process make her lust after you .
But Ill finally get to the juicy bit now. Let me put up my views on serials and reality shows. According to the popular story, Alice fell down a hole and found herself stunned in Wonderland. If any of you were to fall down the hole of TV, typically after 6 pm, you would find yourself in a eclectic and unique world called " CoincidenceIronyDrama Land ". One possible scene contains a simple woman . The typical features of this normal, dull woman in a serial are :
1. Saree costing some lakhs
2. That saree will most definetely be a hideous flouroscent hue of a dark garish colour
3. A bindi that if flew in space could envelop the sun and cause a eclipse
4. Jewellery equalling the gold deposits of Zimbabwe (but still less than Bappi Lahiri)
5. A gut wrenching,suicide inducing sad sound track
If the woman is a pivotal character, especially a villian, there will be something extra Wow about her .
1. A full tube of kajal on her face
2. Everything in Black
3. A smirk (obviously)
4. A stupid, loyal sidekick
5. A soundbyte borrowed from RGV
6. A laugh like Archana puran Singh
Loud over the top garish costumes, unbelieveable storylines that downright refuse the concept of happily ever after and oppression of the young protoganist are the norm now. What sets some serials apart is their name itself. The name is so short and sweet that a PhD student properly motivated may be able to churn out a thesis on the name of the serial itself. How ridiculous ! On one hand we say that we are a cultured society. On the other, we donate our precious time and sacrifice our aural canals and brain neurons to the mindless, senseless idiotic chatter that is presented to us day after day. The people who make these shows however must be applauded .One main reason for that is their hyperrealistic omnipresent optimistic attitude . They depict people who are obviously immortal(remember Baa?) and people who go abroad return back due to " sanskaar ". Also , these are the same people who have been able to keep a hilariously outrageous detective show where the age old ACP uses Flemings rule to solve crimes. Also, Daya seems to be our reply to any possible superhero the west can come up with .
I am not any authority to dictate what people can or can not do. But i think that when the main hero returns from a coma a dozen times and old wise ladies live on for a couple of millenia , its time to swivel back and forth three times with a sound effect of " dhumdhish " and say with an echo effect " Bas karo ! " ( I really hope all of you got the effect I was talking about used to make a point ) .
P.s. If any of you like this , please share it and hope it reaches the orthodox maniacs who produce this crap.
As usual , appreciate you taking the time to read this . Comments and critique are welcome
Today, my friends, is my final frontier. This is the true meaning of a David vs Goliath scenario for me . * cue lightning sounds a la Mahabharat on Doordarshan in the 1990's *
Today, I take on television and all its Dramacoms (Id call them sitcoms or programmes but that would be a insult to some real sitcoms like Sarabhai vs Sarabhai ) . In essence, that means I am taking on Ekta Kapoor and all her creative glory that renders the occasional pathetic plot twist to an otherwise drab, almost comatose script.
Now, I dont hate TV. But i tend to watch something that keeps my brain cells intact. As a form of entertainment, i believe TV has maxed out its potential. Movies are regularly shown on TV, music is too though now music may as well be a mixture of softcore pornography and full blown public advertisemnets for alcohol and substance abuse . Oops i forgot to mix in the tutorial on how to perfectly objectify a woman and in the process make her lust after you .
But Ill finally get to the juicy bit now. Let me put up my views on serials and reality shows. According to the popular story, Alice fell down a hole and found herself stunned in Wonderland. If any of you were to fall down the hole of TV, typically after 6 pm, you would find yourself in a eclectic and unique world called " CoincidenceIronyDrama Land ". One possible scene contains a simple woman . The typical features of this normal, dull woman in a serial are :
1. Saree costing some lakhs
2. That saree will most definetely be a hideous flouroscent hue of a dark garish colour
3. A bindi that if flew in space could envelop the sun and cause a eclipse
4. Jewellery equalling the gold deposits of Zimbabwe (but still less than Bappi Lahiri)
5. A gut wrenching,suicide inducing sad sound track
If the woman is a pivotal character, especially a villian, there will be something extra Wow about her .
1. A full tube of kajal on her face
2. Everything in Black
3. A smirk (obviously)
4. A stupid, loyal sidekick
5. A soundbyte borrowed from RGV
6. A laugh like Archana puran Singh
Loud over the top garish costumes, unbelieveable storylines that downright refuse the concept of happily ever after and oppression of the young protoganist are the norm now. What sets some serials apart is their name itself. The name is so short and sweet that a PhD student properly motivated may be able to churn out a thesis on the name of the serial itself. How ridiculous ! On one hand we say that we are a cultured society. On the other, we donate our precious time and sacrifice our aural canals and brain neurons to the mindless, senseless idiotic chatter that is presented to us day after day. The people who make these shows however must be applauded .One main reason for that is their hyperrealistic omnipresent optimistic attitude . They depict people who are obviously immortal(remember Baa?) and people who go abroad return back due to " sanskaar ". Also , these are the same people who have been able to keep a hilariously outrageous detective show where the age old ACP uses Flemings rule to solve crimes. Also, Daya seems to be our reply to any possible superhero the west can come up with .
I am not any authority to dictate what people can or can not do. But i think that when the main hero returns from a coma a dozen times and old wise ladies live on for a couple of millenia , its time to swivel back and forth three times with a sound effect of " dhumdhish " and say with an echo effect " Bas karo ! " ( I really hope all of you got the effect I was talking about used to make a point ) .
P.s. If any of you like this , please share it and hope it reaches the orthodox maniacs who produce this crap.
As usual , appreciate you taking the time to read this . Comments and critique are welcome
Wonderfully written... i loved the way how u made it dramatic... only and avid reader like u could hav written such a piece... hilarious bro... keep it up...
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